Loss and Recovery

Good morning all.  I’ve been MIA for a while due to an unexpected family emergency.  Sadly, my mother passed away last week, and I’m finally getting home and trying to adjust to this feeling of something being missing.  It almost feels like I’m forgetting to do something, or I’ve overlooked something I need, but then I take a moment and realize it’s my Mom that’s missing.  We lived in different cities, so I didn’t see her terribly often, but we talked basically every day.  She was an amazing woman and I miss her very much, but I take great comfort she is not in any pain and in a much better place.

That said, I’m blogging about it here because losing my mother is now part of my journey.  How I choose to deal with it emotionally and physically is up to me.  My Mom wasn’t in good health, much of it driven by not taking as good care of herself as she got older.  The usual culprits, weight gain, diabetes, poor diet…. One thing I can learn from this is just how important it is to be healthy and take care of my body.  Our health is precious, and it isn’t until it is taken away that we realize it sometimes.

Now with so many lessons learned from my mother throughout my life, one more thing I will add to it is the need to be healthy.  I have been on that path already (on and off of course) for several years now, but this in some ways just reinforces that now is the time to make this a permanent and unwavering part of my life. 

It would be so easy to wallow in sadness and food right now – especially after being back in my hometown for almost a week and not being able to adhere to my usual guidelines.  However, when I got back home yesterday, the first thing I did was go to yoga and pick up a salad from the gym cafe. And this morning, I started planning my workouts for the rest of the week.  Feeling good about myself now seems to start with treating my body the right way.  I think I would actually start to feel more sad and depressed if I was sitting in my bed eating doughnuts and take-out right now. 

I feel better knowing I’m doing something good for my mental and physical well-being, especially during this time of stress and loss.

God gives us what we can bear, helps us and wants good things for us.  While I am selfishly sad for myself, I am happy for my mother being at peace and free of pain and struggle.  I will love her always.

How I manage this is part of my journey, and a test of my ability to cope.

I am choosing to be positive, strong and keep pushing forward.  I think that is what my Mom would want for me and expect of me.

Whatever your own personal losses or setbacks may be, take time to process, grieve, cry and shout if need be, but don’t let it derail your plans to be the best you can be. 

Blessings to you all and enjoy the day!

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